so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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