He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
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