Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
