So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
