he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
