coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Randomize
