All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
