So many bounce houses so little time
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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