quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
