So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I got inside last night via doggy door
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
