if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
