Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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