i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Randomize
