she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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