I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
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