So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Im part way to drunk.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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