words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
