so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize