I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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