Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
