Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
