Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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