Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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