If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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