OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
