I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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