Taylor Swift is so right about you.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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