so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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