I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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