did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
BRING THE BAGELS
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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