What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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