Me. At least after what I've been through.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
