Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
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