Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
