Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
