Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
