Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You dont lie about slip and slides
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
