Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
