went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
that may or may not have been my penis.
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