we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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