You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
