And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Dick very happy bro
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
