Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
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