wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
