hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
