U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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