I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
