dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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