if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
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