and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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