bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
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