goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
