did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
