What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
you would pick up someone in the library
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
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