Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Randomize
