you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
