Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
