Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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