Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I just forgot I was standing up.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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