guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
