i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize