Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Randomize
