Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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