my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
The feeling are messing with the penis
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
