this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
